notes from the thresholds

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March 20th, 2013

08:56 am - vaguebooking for ostara
Maybe it's just me, but imo if you claim to worship the Goddess out of one side of your mouth and you're reinforcing the patriarchy out of the other side, you're doin' it wrong.
Current Mood: crankycranky

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January 18th, 2013

11:07 am - don't be a can of mystery meat
Random on OKCupid: I would love to meet you

Me: Empty profile, empty pic, what would make me interested?

Random: the mystery should make you interested :)

Me: Hahaha no. I get a dozen OKC messages a day from guys. So do most women on here. You have to figure out how to market yourself, buddy. Would you buy a can on the supermarket shelf just labeled "food" in black & white with no idea of what's inside when there are thousands of tasty, clearly-labeled cans next to it? Admit it, you messaged me based on my profile and pics, didn't you?

Women join dating sites to *narrow down* the thousands of men out there and find actually compatible ones. Every guy we meet in daily life is an unlabeled can of mystery meat. Try harder.

Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Alt-J - Tessellate

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December 10th, 2012

04:00 pm - somewhere around a week ago...
...I passed the 2 year mark with my S. We've had some difficult conversations and awkward moments, but I don't think we've ever had a serious fight.

I feel so fortunate to be with him. He's smart, compassionate, thoughtful, creative, smart-assed, honorable, fun, generous, devious...he's my big scary teddy bear in shining armor. He's not perfect - he's forever showing up late and he has trouble with those 3 little words, although he says the same thing in a hundred other ways. But I'm far from perfect myself, and in every way that's ever really counted, he's been there and done the right thing. And every time we're out together, I'm reminded how many people know and love him and would like a piece of his time - and yet, so often he chooses to spend it with me. I never take that for granted, and it humbles me.

He also gives me the freedom to be me - he may not share 100% of the things I'm into, but he's never made me feel silly or wrong or freakish for liking what I like. He's never given me grief about seeing or playing with other people either.

Our relationship is an oddly-shaped little arrangement, and it wouldn't be to everyone's taste, but it seems to work. Long may it continue.
Current Mood: gratefulgrateful
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December 7th, 2012

09:59 am - miss anthrope
The more I contemplate what I'm taking in and putting out in the world, the more I realize how many of my blog posts and anecdotes boil down to, "Other people are stupid and/or wrong."

I don't want to be that person.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Alt-J - Tessellate

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December 5th, 2012

04:18 pm - super fast loaded potato soup
Made this for lunch today and it disappeared. Super easy and I had it all on hand.

3 c. mashed potatoes (I used instant)
1 can Campbell's cheddar soup, condensed
1 can milk
1 stalk celery, diced
1 green onion, chopped
4 slices bacon, fried crisp, chopped
a squirt of Ranch dressing (sour cream would work too)
generous pinches of:
black pepper
pimenton (Spanish hot smoked paprika)

Saute celery in a little butter or margarine until tender. Set aside. Fry bacon crisp, drain, chop, set aside. Prepare 3 c. mashies as directed or use leftovers. Add can of condensed cheese soup, can of milk, stir over low heat until mixed, adding enough water or no-salt-added broth to thin to desired consistency. Add celery, green onion, bacon, Ranch, season to taste. Serve with some crusty bread - sourdough works nicely.
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished

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November 15th, 2012

09:55 am - if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing
I keep thinking I should post, but all my posts would be complaints. Complaining about my kids, my love life, my SAD, my perennial lack of funds, the fuckwits at my job. And so I keep silent. But I am still here and reading every day.

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October 31st, 2012

09:37 am - dreamwidth
Strongly considering moving everything over there when the friends page change is forced. My username over there is currently my old one, bifemmefatale.
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: be good tanyas-reuben

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October 1st, 2012

10:58 am - happy october!
A Vagabond Song

There is something in the autumn that is native to my blood—
Touch of manner, hint of mood;
And my heart is like a rhyme,
With the yellow and the purple and the crimson keeping time.

The scarlet of the maples can shake me like a cry
Of bugles going by.
And my lonely spirit thrills
To see the frosty asters like a smoke upon the hills.

There is something in October sets the gypsy blood astir;
We must rise and follow her,
When from every hill of flame
She calls and calls each vagabond by name.

William Bliss Carman

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September 23rd, 2012

08:26 am - poetry - how to make love to a trans person
This is just beautiful, and true.

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Current Mood: contentcontent
Tags: ,

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September 14th, 2012

08:17 am - thought for the day
How many times do I ask a beloved to change their behavior when really, it's my thoughts that are making me unhappy and it's *them* I need to change?

Been catching myself doing that a lot lately. Fortunately, I've usually been noticing it *before* I open my mouth. Progress of a sort.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative

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September 13th, 2012

03:38 pm - Lazy vegetarian dinner win!
Make 1 box Spanish Rice as directed with crushed tomatoes. In the last few minutes of cooking, add 1 can corn, drained, 1 can black or pinto beans, drained, some diced bell pepper (optional), and 1 packet taco seasoning. Serve with shredded cheese on top, fill veggie burritos, etc. The kids asked for this 2 nights in a row. :)
Current Mood: hungryhungry
Current Music: Ray LaMontagne-Repo Man

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September 6th, 2012

07:36 am - kunstliche welten
Most of the time I adore fiction for the countless ways it has enriched my life. But sometimes I hate it, for making me fall in love with places I can never visit and people I will never meet.
Current Mood: contemplativelonging

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August 31st, 2012

05:53 pm - oh hell yes this exactly
klgaffney sums up my feelings on the New Age:

"New Age stuff puts me off. I keep getting hit with this particular brand of patchouli-scented sentiment: the fake-y-ness, the random, greedy, grabby-handed mixing and matching of "ancient! indigenous! knowledge!" (read: various customs and bits of religious and magical traditions yoinked completely out of their original contexts), mixed up with bullshit Victorian-era superstition and purely invented and poorly-thought-through asshattery all slap-dashed together in molded plastic and glitter and hemp and rainbows by indigo dolphin crystal children who sell fucking terrible art based on non-existent scholarship and total disregard of advances in actual real life biology and ecology and astronomy that has happened since 1965. Listening to people talking about this stuff (or reading about it) for any length of time reduces me to mentally screaming YOU'RE WRONG SO VERY WRONG OH WHY DO YOU KEEP THROWING WRONG THINGS AT ME."
Current Mood: amusedamused

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June 23rd, 2012

11:18 am - happy pride weekend in the us!
Wise and beautiful words from Sarah Sloane.

Things I'm Proud Of

Current Music: Bon Iver-The Wolves

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April 10th, 2012

12:25 pm - oh, canada.
Even your criminals are so...Canadian.

Someone in Toronto got a copy of my credit card and used it on a shopping spree at...
Wal-Mart and the thrift store. To the tune of a whopping $200.
Current Mood: amusedamused

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April 5th, 2012

11:02 am - poetry month: the adamantine perfection of desire
by Jane Hirshfield

Nothing more strong
than to be helpless before desire.

No reason,
the simplified heart whispers,
the argument over,
only This.

No longer choosing anything but assent.

Its bowl scraped clean to the bottom,
the skull-bone cup no longer horrifies,
but, rimmed in silver, shines.

A spotted dog follows a bitch in heat.
Gray geese fly past us, crying.
The living cannot help but love the world.

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative

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08:31 am - note to self
When has worrying about love ever brought you more love? Only letting go ever has.

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April 4th, 2012

11:24 am - poetry month: one of morgan's
OK, so maybe this is an excessive amount of motherly pride, but this is the poem Morgan won the 2nd Annual DeKalb HS Poetry Slam with. (she also won last year. *preens*)

Lately I feel fit to burst
Like the first of spring's swollen magnolia
Wafting heady scented
Tendrils heat ripple rising from the asphalt
And spiral through nostrils
When your whole brain lights up
An interconnected web of synapses
Aflicker with sudden recollections of distant fuzzy springtimes
Each a world on the tip of a sparkler, encased in grey matter
Which is actually rather pinkish, and swollen
Like a magnolia about to bloom

Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: Ben Harper-Mama's Trippin'

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April 2nd, 2012

01:58 pm - april is poetry month
This is the poem Lawrence Ferlinghetti read at The Band's last performance, as seen in the movie, "The Last Waltz".

Loud Prayer

Our father whose art's in heaven
hollow be thy name
unless things change
Thy wigdom come and gone
thy will will be undone
on earth as it isn't heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
at least three times a day
and forgive us our trespasses
as we would forgive those lovelies
whom we wish would trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation
too often on weekdays
but deliver us from evil
whose presence remains unexplained
in thy kingdom of power and glory
oh man!


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March 28th, 2012

12:20 pm - fun with okcupid: an occasional series
Today's winner in the inbox:

"I write real good. Same with spelling and grammar."
Current Mood: amusedamused

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